Self-Sabotage and the Tarot

Fear of Failure

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

According to NPR 44% of Americans who identify as drinkers of alcoholic beverages are participating in Dry January this year. That figure is staggering and I think it indicates a shift in this country’s perspective about booze. I jumped in and I love the camaraderie of so many people I know taking a break. I also know a lot of sober people who must look on from the sidelines, and say hey, that’s my every day. But for those in the thick of changing habits with the new year, and these habits may range from more exercise, less junk food and doom scrolling, to more reading, less tv and more hydration. You name it, we like the idea that we can improve our behaviors and at some point during the first thirty days of doing so, self sabotage can rear its ugly head.

I am irritated that I wrote down this quote without attribution but suffice it to say it isn’t mine and if you know whose it is please add to the comments and I’ll edit this post.

“Self-sabotage is often a form of protection against fear of the unknown or fear of failure.”

This strikes me as the crux of why people don’t complete a Dry January or a gym challenge, a writing or reading goal, or any goal with a time limit or quantifiable result. This is the work of behavioral psychology of which I am not an expert, and merely dabble in, but the Tarot can help us understand what and why we undermine ourselves in sticking with our goals. If any of these cards come up for you, either in your year ahead spread or even just a daily card pull, it may be time to look inward to figure out what’s going on.

Self-Sabotage and the Swords

The swords suit is the seat of the intellect, which also means it is the home of our monkey minds, the parts of us which hide our eyes from the truth.

The Seven, Eight and Nine of Swords have some commonalities when it comes to self-sabotage, but they approach it in different ways.

The Seven of Swords is about stealth and deceit, secrecy and impulse. This card’s figure is running away looking behind him with loot he has taken. The implication is that it is not his and that he can’t look straight ahead because he must make sure no one sees him. He must cover his tracks. Impulsivity is the friend of self-sabotage. It asks us not to sit and consider our actions but to take the money and run. That’s what it can feel like when we set a plan for our behavior and then stray from the plan. Do we keep it a secret? Do we give up on our plans and keep running? Impulsivity can be the enemy of a well laid plan for change. Seeking short term pleasure versus long term reward can keep us secretive and self-deceptive.

The Eight of Swords addresses self-sabotage a little differently, from a victim mentality. Our figure here is bound and blindfolded with swords all around her in a watery landscape. She feels trapped, unable to move. But in reality her binds are loose and she has the full power to extricate herself but chooses to remain in this state of victimhood. The question here in relation to self-sabotage is why? What are we afraid of? If we were to unbind ourselves and removed the blindfold, what truth would we see? I can’t really becomes I won’t, or I don’t feel enough to do this. The Eight of Swords can be its own enemy. It is the fear of failure.

The Nine of Swords shows us yet another aspect of self-sabotage, but remember we can see the entire tarot from a cyclical standpoint, and each of the suits follows this pattern. From Ace through Ten we progress from beginnings to structure to challenge and ultimately to resolution. The Nine is the recognition of our truth, which in this case results in turmoil and insomnia. Our figure’s face is in his hands but the recognition of the need for change is there. It is the final challenge before resolution arrives.

The Nine of Swords in relation to self-sabotage is that liminal space between what is and what needs to happen next to enact change. This card brings up anxiety, guilt over past behaviors, shame. We’ve all heard about the shame spiral, and we also may know that shame is self-sabotage’s most excellent friend. if we feel unworthy of what might be on the other side of a habit change, we won’t stick to the plan and will sabotage ourselves due to fear of what it might be like to feel worth it. Worth feeling better, healthier, more compassionate, more human.

And in summation:

What would it take to remove the deceit, the secrecy, the victim mentality, the shame?

When we figure this out, the Swords tell us, we can move through the cycle and achieve what we set our minds to. The elevated mind which is the Ace and the Ten of Swords, the beginning and the end.

Wishing you all the self-love you need to stop self-sabotaging to meet your goals for this new season.

lots of love,

xo Hanna