Have you ever been in a situation where you know there’s too much going on, and you don’t have any choice but to just push through, so you pretend it’s all not happening while you do it all? I guess it’s called “managing,” and I know I’m pretty good at it, but it also feels like dissociation, as if I’m only looking ahead at what is in front of me, and the sides, behind me, my whole environment becomes blurry and disconnected.
This week in my world, the used book world, the retail and internet sales world, feels like holding a bomb in my hand, carefully, knowing if I can hold it, manage it, for x number of remaining days, in this case five, it won’t go off and I’ll be safe. I will have survived. Between inventory, customers, employees, merchandising, constant phone ringing, e mails, supplies, interacting with my husband/business partner, is a lot. But I get a huge amount of extraverted energy from it, dopamine surges, I feel zippy.
Customers walking around the stores with big piles of books in their arms, excited by their finds.
Customers asking for recommendations for their loved ones.
The mailman picking up fifty packages every day, going all over the world.
Employees having fun, I hope in part because I try to demonstrate lightheartedness (even when I don’t feel light at all).
Driving books back and forth between the two stores to fill customer requests.
Bills, bills, bills.
During December of every year, for twenty years, this is the life I’ve lived. Our boys were four and six when we bought Magus. It was much harder back then, because we had to produce an exciting Christmas for the boys while managing the shop, at that time only one shop. As time went on the boys grew up and at different points worked in the store. Additionally my desire to create the “perfect” holiday for them waned, and now I know we will have a nice holiday on Monday, but also know it won’t be perfect, it will be cozy and sweet. There will be good food and presents and a tree and decorations, and that’s it.
Some years were really tough. The odd snow and ice storm wrecked some big shopping days and filled us with fear that we wouldn’t have enough sales for the season to pay all the bills in January. The pandemic threw us for a loop, having to count up to nine customers only allowed in the store at a time with a line of people around the block waiting in the rain to get in. Retail is unpredictable, as unpredictable as humans.
Using Tarot to Manage Unpredictability
I have said many times that I don’t believe in fortune telling, at least that’s not how I use the tarot. But I do believe in structure, and meaning making, and the tarot provides just that, whether you get a professional tarot reading or pull cards for yourself.
In the midst of the retail madness, picking a card for 2024 and doing year ahead spreads is gearing up. I’ve already helped a few clients prepare for the coming year with tarot. The process is quite simple but is also layered with as much complexity as you want to give it. Picking a guiding card for the year may come easily or require thought and perhaps guidance. If you are looking for community to choose your card of the year, Laurie Blackwell and I will host a workshop next week and would love it if you would join us.
Year ahead spreads involve putting your card of the year in the middle and laying twelve cards around it, one for each month. I like to group these cards into quarters, or seasons, and see how each group of three relates. Again, it is about structure and meaning making. If you would like help with your year ahead spread feel free to contact me at hanna@hannamcelroy.com or sign up for a reading on my website.
Next week I’ll share my own year ahead spread for 2024 with you and show you how I use it in my daily life.
If you like to celebrate during this time of year, and especially if this season bugs the hell out of you, I send you lots of love and thank you for subscribing.